A DIFFERENT STATE OF MIND



I sat in an inebriated state
Once again my mind devoid of all feeling
Never so alone and stranded have I been
I cry out loud, at the altar I kneel

Where is the answer I demand to know
Even this angst went unnoticed today
I run with unbeknownst madness
Watching every colour blur into grey

Stumbling on every rock I ran on
Persisted in my search for destiny
So dark it seemed, I was scared
Unsure where the next step shall take me

My heart beat with pauses lasting long
Every breath felt laborious
I kept reeling back in time
Only to be pained as I wound backwards

Monotony set in featuring depression
Albeit alone I wasn’t even a moment
My heart cried in repudiation
Not for once listening to me lament

No song came through the flutes today
Every spasm filled with emptiness
The mind wandered, leaving no trails
None can follow in its search for happiness

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WOMEN'S DAY - YET AGAIN

Image
So there are a million messages floating around today on how to respect the women in our lives, how each of us idolises the women we have seen as we grew older, marketing gimmicks and sales sprees in every segment - from flowers to furniture, from jewellery to kitchen appliances. This day irks me because some factions of the society go all out to “celebrate” women and another faction spearheaded by many ‘fe-male chauvinists’, not just feminists, claim that they should be respected everyday and they are asking for equality and not specialty treatment. I am also happy this day exists - it goes to show that there is atleast scope for discussion that there is a need for improvement in overall quality of life for women in general. I speak not as a women, but as a human being - not an animal that needs special rights and training. But I pose this question - should I be ‘asking’ for respect?   This day is a western thought - this statement dilutes the importance of the argument and brainw...
Read more

COVID and ME

It was the year 2020, much like every other year and was the same for everyone till it became unlike any other year. Only, it was still the same for everyone and we were all cooped up in our selves as the rulemakers made new rules by the day and the naysayers opined in empty words. I am not new to loss, joy, thrill, bereavement, elation, love, enthusiasm, anger or depression, and neither are you  which is what makes us all human and how we act upon each emotion is the thin line between sanity and madness. This time I learnt to be a better friend. Mangalyam tantunanena mama jeevana hetuna: kanthe badhnami subhage twam jeeva sarada satam And lo behold, usually theres a lot of hugging and crying(usually happiness) as 2 people marry to unite 2 families through the socially accepted marriage ritual. None of this happened in the wedding we had so painstakingly organised, with nothing stopping short in terms of entertainment or being unordinary. A famous person in a very famous sleeveless...
Read more

Saying Goodbye...

Wrote this more than year back, somewhere in the wee end of 2017. Farewells are never easy and every time another friend leaves, it just gets more and more difficult to say goodbye. Atleast this time the goodbye is merely physical, as only the distances have increased, but the bonds remain strong. The heart turns a heavy turn As the road ahead becomes a blur That's when I realise there's a tear Waiting to drop, will burn my cheek I fear Why this weight I do not understand This journey I wish to make backward This is how one feels at the gates I shall sit, shall yearn in quiet, I'm afraid The act of bidding adieu has never been easy Hurts even more for you, my friend As time with you hasn't been very long And my eyes wish to hold you even at the end To sit beside and tell you stories With gay abandon I wish to talk Wish distances were just numbers to do away And I be at your door at the next knock Hold onto my memories I ask For I grasp at every ...
Read more